


Careful Son, You Got Dreamer's Plans

by rosesmallow



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28254168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesmallow/pseuds/rosesmallow
Summary: Poe can't sleep so he decides to take refuge in the safety of the Falcon, but it seems like somebody else has already beaten him to it.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Leia Organa
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	Careful Son, You Got Dreamer's Plans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [braigwen_s](https://archiveofourown.org/users/braigwen_s/gifts).



> Braigwen sent me the prompt "top of head kisses with platonic relationship of dealer's choice?" and I just kind of sat on it for a few days until I got hit by a - struck by a - one-shot knock out of Poe and Leia feelings this afternoon. Let me tell you, writing this while the scene where Poe finds out Leia is gone in TROS...not fun. Suffer with me kiddos.

The base on Ajan Kloss was quiet this time of night as Poe slipped out of his quarters in a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting gray tee shirt (the closest thing he had any more to night clothes). No one disturbed him, except a handful of porgs that chirped quietly at him as he passed. He couldn’t remember their names - Rose had told him excitedly all the names she’d picked one day, but all the porgs had been hatchlings then and they’d changed a lot in the past year.

Then again, a lot has changed in the past year — not just the porgs. His entire life turned upside down. Poe tried not to focus on that much, he hadn’t lost much by comparison to others. Stars knew how much blood was on his own hands...did he even have a right to complain? To ache at night when he ran down the list of everyone he couldn’t save?

Most nights, it would be easiest to lie in the scrunched-up blankets of his cot staring at the ceiling until he fell back asleep. Tonight was one of the nights, having woken up from a hodgepodge of nightmares: Ren inside his head, all the pilots lost on Starkiller, the bombing fleet destroyed under his own orders, so desperate and caught up in a tunnel vision to protect the only people he had left after the Republic was destroyed — 

And maybe, a voice taunted him in the darkness, maybe Terex was right all along: Poe Dameron couldn’t resist playing hero. 

Poe huffed, ran an agitated hand through his crown of inky curls, and marched through the leafy path towards the Falcon. The only one who really stayed aboard was Chewbacca and he slept in the Captain’s Quarters. Right now Poe just needed to be somewhere quiet and tucked away, and - yeah, if that happened to be inside the cockpit of one of the finest ships this side of the galaxy, then he was fine with that.

The cockpit wasn’t empty when he entered.

The breath left his lungs instantly and Poe started to backtrack his steps, quietly, but of course, his heel hit a spanner that crashed noisily on the ground. Leia started in the pilot’s seat, a pair of dice clutched in her hand, immediately on alert and ready for a fight until she spotted Poe. The general exhaled and patted the seat next to her.

“At ease, Dameron. Come sit.”

Poe swallowed and did as he was told. Leia fixed him with a stare that was even parts firm and gentle. He felt like she was peering into his soul, the way Maz had, but with far less animosity. “Unable to sleep, Commander?”

He swallowed, ducking his eyes away, not wanting to answer. He was...something. Once upon a time, he didn’t think of himself as more than just a soldier. An impulsive, sometimes rash soldier who couldn’t turn his back away from injustice or possibly endangerment of his friends -

But Leia had seen something more in him. It terrified him, it really did. It terrified him aboard the Raddus, terrified him now. He wasn’t a leader, he -

He was a soldier.

He was a soldier and he’d failed her so many damn times and he was damn sure he'd do it again. Where would the Resistance be if he failed again?

Before he was even aware of it, his cheeks were damp with tears. Leia reached out a tentative hand and grasped his shoulder, and Poe broke. His breaths came out in shuddering heaves. He buried his eyes into the heels of his hands, trying to stop the tears from falling. Distantly, he heard himself apologizing over and over - for what, he wasn’t sure. Not living up to Leia’s expectations? Disappointing her? Interrupting her moment of mourning? For breaking down in front of her, being a burden -

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Leia’s voice was stern as she engulfed him in her arms. Poe stilled, chest still heaving with sobs, as she rubbed circles against his back. She pulled away from him with a wise, sad smile. “I wish I could tell you the path from here will be easy but I can’t. The path the Force has chosen for you has been one filled with war and heartache.” She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. “I never wanted that for anyone after me.”

Poe had managed to bring his breathing back to an even level as she spoke and now asked, “Why me. After everything I’ve done, all the times I disobeyed you...the Raddus -”

Leia exhaled and sank back into her chair. “I understand you more than you think, Poe. After Alderaan, the only thing that kept me afloat was my hatred of the Empire, of my father.” Her voice darkened. “There were many times I almost went in recklessly and got myself and others killed to dismantle that evil.”

“Keyword being _almost_ ,” Poe noted, swiping his eyes.

“I grew up a diplomat. Learning to keep your emotions in check is practically the first lesson you learn.” Leia leaned back against the leather seat. “You’ve got a good heart and an admirable instinct to do the right thing. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: drowning yourself in the guilt of what-ifs does nothing useful.”

Poe nodded, looked down at the control panel. Finally, he asked, “General...am I a good man?”

Leia turned to him in surprise. She almost looked angry for a second before her eyes softened. “Poe, you are one of the brightest souls I’ve ever known. You inspire others to do good in your name. That’s why I’ve always pushed you to be more. You’re a good soldier,” she patted his hand with her own, “but you are so much more than that. So, yes, Poe. You’re a good man.”

Poe swallowed around a lump in his throat and nodded as he stood. “Thank you. I, um...should probably go to bed. Do you want me to walk you to your quarters?” He knew what her answer was going to be even before he asked.

Leia shook her head. “No, but thank you, Poe.”

He lingered there in the space between the seats for a second, then leaned forward and kissed her on the top of her head before he could think better of it. “You can count on me, General.”


End file.
